Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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