You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
