I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
