either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
