Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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