That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize