I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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