READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
