We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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