i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
