Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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