Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
