I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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