Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
