i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
