Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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