apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
