He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
