Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize