we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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