You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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