I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
