i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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