I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
