is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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