Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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