people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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