doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
