youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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