i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
