Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
