Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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