he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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