I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I cut my penus on the lid.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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