do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
