I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
