It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
