Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
