i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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