i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
