I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
