But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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