i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
