I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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