WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
