Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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