the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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