I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
