i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
