I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
